Charity's Chatter: Grace's 2 year checkup

Today we went to a new pediatrician's office for Grace's 2 year checkup. Grace was fine while I filled out all the paperwork in the waiting room. Then the nurse called us back. Grace tentatively held my hand and walked as sloooowly as possible back towards the scales.

When the nurse asked her to stand on the scale so we could see how big she was getting, Grace whispered "No." So she tried again. Again, the answer was a whispered, "No." Then I tried pulling her closer to it and she said, "I want outside, Momma. Peas. Peas! I want outside. Ets go. O-tay?" (Peas is Grace's way of saying "please." Ets go means "Let's go" and O-tay means "Okay" for those of you who aren't fluent in Toddler Talk.) Then these huge tears start rolling down her face. I couldn't believe it. My heart started to melt and we weren't even to her room getting shots yet.

So I picked Grace up and tried my best to hold her on the scale. The digital readout said 28 pounds. Not sure how accurate that is, unless it's a new fancy scale that can factor in the pressure I was exerting trying to keep her on the scale along with the pressure Grace was exerting to get off. Somehow, I don't think so. Sigh. So 28 pounds it is. I guess. But that means she's now in the 75% percentile for her weight when just 6 months ago and ever since she was born she's been in the 50th percentile. Mmmm. New item on to-do list: Re-weigh Grace at home.

Next we moved on to measuring her height. For this, all Grace had to do was stand up straight with her back against the wall. Sounds simple, right? Not in our case, no. My child is still insisting that we "Go outside. Play, Momma. I want outside. To play. Ets go." Calmly, I pressed her little shoulders against the wall while telling her we would play after our visit with the doctor. Meanwhile the nurse moved the slider down. She confidently reads out 36 inches. Hmmmm. Does it matter that my child's feet are pressed against me and not the wall? Or what about the fact that she has her chin poking into her chest as she pouts? I'm no licensed RN by any means, but Grace definitely wasn't standing straight or looking straight ahead. In fact, if I recall correctly, her feet weren't even touching the ground. She was trying to wrap them around my waist and convince me to take her "outside." Sigh. So we'll go with 36 inches. That puts her in the 90th percentaile for her height. Which is about right, I think. To do list: Remeasure Grace's height.

On to the patient's room and the doctor's visit.

We walked into her room and Grace sits down. By now, she's figured out that we are not going outside to play yet. So she resolutely sits in the petite chair and worries about what's going to happen next.

The nurse comes in with us and says that Grace isn't due for any shots until 4. Mmmm. Okay. Well, I tell her we still want to get a flu shot and I'll need a immunization sheet in case we decide to enroll her in preschool. She agrees and leaves.

Then the pediatrician comes in. He puts his stethoscope to her chest while making quick introductions. Can he hear anything through that thing while he's talking? Then he looks up Grace's nose, in her ears, and at her teeth. Next, he holds her feet together and asks if I have any questions. Like, that's it? That's all your going to do? Are you kidding me? Somehow I don't think those are the type of questions he meant.

So instead I asked if they had the swine flu vaccine, yet. He told me they didn't but they had the seasonal flu vaccine and wouldn't have swine flu for several weeks yet. Then he recommended the nasal spray versus shot for the seasonal flu. Yeah, right. You hold down this two year old, squirt something up her nose, and tell her to inhale it. I'll just stand outside while you do that, 'kay?

Don't worry, I kept my thoughts to myself while I threw the next curve ball at him. "When should Grace come in for her next checkup?" I asked. This one really threw him off course. "I'll send in the nurse and she can look at the chart and let you know when she should come back." Are you kidding me? This is a joke, right? Where's the camera? There has to be a hidden camera because this is one of those reality shows, right? Right?

Sadly, no. He was serious. He left and the nurse came back inside equipped with a seasonal flu shot with bandage, a lollipop, and two stickers. We laughed about the thoughts of getting a 2 year old to sniff a flu injection. Ha ha. Then she swabbed Grace's thigh, poked her with the needle, put the band-aid on, and gave Grace her Dora sticker and lollipop all before Grace had a chance to scream. The nurse was definitely much more competent than the doctor.

Then I checked over her immunization chart and saw that Grace could be given a second dose of an "optional" vaccine - Hepatitis A. So I asked that she give that to her, too. I know, I know - that's terribly cruel of me. Grace had just gotten one shot and now I wanted her to get another. And would make her wait for it. But in my defense, I wanted to get as many shots out of the way while I was there because I'd already made up my mind we wouldn't be visiting this particular pediatrician's office again.

Maybe I was really spoiled in Omaha with our previous pediatrician. But I'm used to a more thorough examination of my child. I'm used to a pediatrician listening to her heart and lungs while not speaking so he can actually hear her heart and lungs. I'm used to a pediatrician that wants to see her walk around the room so he can see how she moves. I'm accustomed to a pediatrician that checks her spine for scoliosis. I expect the medically-trained-and-licensed doctor to tell me, the mother of the patient, what I should expect over the next year, developmental milestones to look for, different vaccinations that are optional but are recommended, etc. I expect to actually be able to discuss pros and cons of different vaccines, medicines, whatever, with, get this, the doctor! I insist upon a pediatrician that I can asked questions of and receive intelligent answers from. Not a pediatrician that tells me to ask the nurse. So no, while the nurse was exceptionally competent and friendly, we won't be visiting this particular pediatrician again.

Sorry for that short diatribe. To continue with our visit. Before we know it, the nurse comes back into the room with another needle and bandage, but no lollipop or stickers this time. Again, she swabs Grace's other leg, and Grace bends over to watch what's going on. The nurse quickly pokes Grace in the leg - all the while, Grace keeps a close eye on what is happening. And then the nurse puts the band-aid on and it's all over. Grace never even let out a peep. Miraculous, I know. Especially after the drama trying to weigh her and measure her height.

Finally, we left.